JANUS 8
‘Do you think Peter knows?’
I gave a ‘who cares?’ shrug. In fact I did care, I wanted Peter Roper’s approval and blessing. We both did.
‘What do you think he is going to do when he finds out?’
‘I don’t see any problem, we’ll just tell him.’
Elly frowned.
‘Don’t, not yet. I don’t want to spoil it.’ She ran the palm of her hand across my chest, which brought memories of the night before, ‘Employers don’t like that sort of thing going on in the workplace.’
‘You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Elly. The rest doesn’t matter. And if I lose my job, I’ll soon find another one.’
New love’s euphoria powered my words, but Elly frowned.
‘Why would you want to do that, Janus?’ hurt strained Elly’s voice. ‘Aren’t you happy here, working together?’
‘Of course, couldn’t be happier. All I’m saying…’
‘Don’t say anything, Janus. We’ll tell him in due course. Anyway,’ her face distended, ‘I don’t think Peter will object, he’s a good man.’
Elly’s good humour was infectious.
‘Exactly, nothing to worry about.’
Since Elly’s arrival, that incident with Mr Roper had receded to the outer edge of memory. Denial was cemented by the fact that Roper himself acted as if nothing had ever happened. He returned to his usual courteous manner. He continued to come to work in his perfectly-ironed grey striped shirts, his tie pressed against his Adam’s apple. All was well in our little world. With both Elly and me he was friendly, relaxed, kind. Just like an indulgent father.
Fatherly is the word I would use to describe his face, when unexpectedly he took me aside and spoke to me. It was a Friday and we had just closed up the pharmacy for the day. As we walked to our respective cars, he rested his hand gently on my shoulder and whispered,
‘Something I’ve been meaning to tell you, Janus,’ I waited breathless as buried memories came rushing to the surface and coloured my face, ‘I’ve noticed a definite change in Elly since she’s come back, for the better I mean. I put it down to you. It’s really great to see how well you two are getting on. I’m glad, really glad. For both of you.’
I was so moved that impulsively I went to hug him. Roper’s reflexes were quicker than mine. His hand left my shoulder at the same time as he took a step back and out of my reaching arm. He then clasped my hand and gave it a manly shake,
‘I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you.’
When I told Elly she too was close to tears.
‘He’s a wonderful man,’ she took me in her arms and squeezed me hard, ‘and so are you, my darling. Meeting you was the best. Now I know what I was missing in my life.’
She stepped back, her hands still gripping my upper arms, she looked me intensely up and down, as if she’d just discovered something wholly new in me, ‘I’ve got something to tell you…’
She whispered so softly that I didn’t catch the words.
‘What?’
‘Yes, I couldn’t believe it either when the doctor gave me the news. I mean, I’d been told that I wouldn’t be able to conceive any more. It’s a miracle. Thank you, my darling. This is the happiest I’ve ever, ever been.’
I too was happy. Ecstatic. I love children, but I never imagined that I would father any, perhaps for a different reason than Elly’s. With me it was more the fact that I doubted my ability to sustain a relationship over a long period of time with anyone, man or woman. One reason why long ago I had decided that fatherhood was not for me. Now this news was an unexpected and precious gift, a sign that destiny was favouring us. ‘It’s God’s blessing.’ Said Elly, with fervour in her voice. Until that point she had not given any sign of having religious leanings. There and then it caught me by surprise, but I said nothing. I did not want to want to break the magic of that moment.
As for Mr Roper, he couldn’t have been happier if one of his own children had given him that news.
Comments
Salubrius
Now here is a poser for you, will you tell this girl your secret? Because if you don’t, there is no hope for this relationship.
Amby
Why? Marriage is not like the Inquisition, although over the ages, religion and society have done their best to turn marriage into one. The bedroom is not a confessional, people are not obliged to reveal everything they’ve done in their life. Janus loves Elly, she’s expecting their child and they’re both ecstatic. Why should he bring in stuff from the past that’s totally irrelevant to the current situation. Keep your sanctimonious morals to yourself, Salubrius.
Cynic 2
I’ll give you one thing, Amby, religion has been a curse over the ages. There is no God, just us and the world out there. And let’s face it, we’ve made a pretty big mess of things. It’s enough to make you turn cynical. The only way to be, this day and age.
Airies (And proud of it)
This guy, Janus, wants to have his cake and eat it.
Amby
So? What of it?
Pascal
Amby, the libertine lifestyle you extol doesn’t work. Society needs boundaries to stop it from descending into violence and chaos.
Lizzie 86
Woah, not so fast Pascal. Statistics will tell you that the great majority of violence is done by males, mostly to women and children. So, don’t tar us all with the male brush.
Cynic 2
Pascal, you’re beginning to sound like Salubrius.
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Audio provided by John Brennan (Thank you John)
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